DILEMMA: To I do or not I do? by Jay Lythgoe


When I was little, I dreamt of not getting married; of travelling the world alone having adventures, rescuing whales, flying planes and being famous. Well, I didn’t get married but I did settle for the traditional 2.4.

I’ve been with my partner for 20 years. After the first year, people asked when were we going to ‘tie the knot’. When we moved in together, people asked when would we stop ‘living in sin’. When we had our first child, people asked if we were finally going to ‘get hitched’. Now, one child, two house moves and three new cars later people have stopped asking. We have all the things a married couple have – except a bit of extra cash.

Since the Married Tax Allowance two years ago incentivised marriage (a smidge), I have wondered if I should ‘marry for money’. With this extra pressure from society to sign that piece of paper- is my choice to reject that so-called norm worth throwing away £212 a year?

The landmark ruling of February 8th 2017 in the Supreme Court is a stride forward for the rights of cohabitees. It granted a cohabiting partner the same right as married partners to claim the pension savings of a deceased partner. Perhaps soon, the Married Tax Allowance will be recognised as discrimination and either all or none of us will get the moolah.

I think I’ll hold out for now. Call it principles or a dread of saying vows in front of an audience but it’s just not quite worth it. Unmarried couples of the world – unite! Or don’t.

2 thoughts

  1. To get married in order to get an extra £212/annum could be considered prostitution… And not very well-paid prostitution at that.

    I have come to realise that MOST of my very best friends (from 5-37yo) are – officially – bastards.

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